mooooocow: I’m not pregnant. I didn’t die
When a song you haven't heard in forever comes on. →
wowfunniestposts: It’s like…wait this sounds familiar Then you hear that one verse that makes you remember the song Then you are like FOLLOW Wow Funniest Posts
This is me at night, when I hear a sound. →
10knotes: Submitted by willbetomorrow Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
How teens and adults text: Expectations: Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff Adults - What are you doing today? Want to hang out? Reality: Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out? Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
Reblog if you're kissing no one at midnight on new... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: Follow this blog, you’ll love it on your dashboard!
My friends with their guy problems.
For every guy of the week, they’re like, “He hasn’t texted me in like FIVE MINUTES. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?” And I’m just chillin’ on Tumblr like, “My mental relationship with my favorite celebrity is going fucking fantastic.”
Meeting my celebrity
Me: Will you sign this?
Them: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Them: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
When five year olds have a phone →
the-absolute-best-gifs: Who are you gonna call? Barney?! Click to follow this blog, you will be so glad you did!
friend: mulan isnt even a princess
dishonor on you
dishonor on your whole family
DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
child predator: I have candy come in my van
me: no thanks
predator: I have wifi come in my van
WHY CAN'T MY LIFE BE LIKE PHINEAS AND FERB'S? →
the-absolute-best-gifs: Just building a rocket: Or fighting a mummy: Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower: Maybe discovering something that doesn’t exist: Well.. not giving a monkey a shower: But surfing tidal waves! Creating nanobots! And locating Frakenstein’s brain! Finding a Dodo bird: Or painting a continent: Maybe driving my sister insane! But then there’s a...